Post Reply  Post Thread 

Searing Hearts
Author Message
Kadin
Junior Member
**


Posts: 40
Group: Guild Leaders
Joined: Feb 2008
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #1
Searing Hearts

The following is the prologue and snippet of a story I've had cooking in my head for a bit. My writing style and verbiage has gone a bit stale in the last few years, so constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. The story itself is geared to accept those who haven't had exposure to GW. Do you think it does?


This post was last modified: 03-14-2008 09:29 AM by Kadin.

03-08-2008 02:20 PM
Send the author a private message Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
Kadin
Junior Member
**


Posts: 40
Group: Guild Leaders
Joined: Feb 2008
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #2
RE: Searing Hearts

I'm told that the story doesn't isolate readers who are unfamiliar with GW, so now the question is, are the GW elements present enough to engage a GW veteran and keep him/her interested?

Here is the completed prologue and first chapter.
I'll need feedback.



Attached File(s)
.doc File  SH.doc (Size: 199.5 KB / Downloads: 2)

This post was last modified: 03-14-2008 10:34 AM by Kadin.

03-14-2008 09:29 AM
Send the author a private message Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
Kadin
Junior Member
**


Posts: 40
Group: Guild Leaders
Joined: Feb 2008
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #3
RE: Searing Hearts

I realize now that attachments are a bad thing (or at least not a user friendly thing). So I've posted the story segments on GWO...
Searing Hearts


03-25-2008 07:24 AM
Send the author a private message Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
Renn
Junior Member
**


Posts: 31
Group: Alliance Members
Joined: Jul 2007
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #4
RE: Searing Hearts

Nice.. I'll read it through when I get back home >^.^<


Lynthi Dorighan - Monk

We are all someone else's dream
-Forever Dreams

Somnium-Reflectere
03-26-2008 07:05 AM
Send the author an email Send the author a private message Visit authors website Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
lovejenete
Junior Member
**


Posts: 3
Group: Alliance Members
Joined: Dec 2009
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #5
RE: Searing Hearts

Hey
I am dedicating this poem here on "Searing heart"
It's just the first draft but what do you think so far?

Searing pain flutters my heart,
A call to fill the emptiness
For this black hole is growing deep;
Such a chilling loneliness.

Black rain trickles down my face,
A sign of inside over-flow.
For cluttered space is never overcome;
Everything needs a place to go.

Mixed feelings grow and shrink alike,
A reply to muffled outside cries
For none a person can over look
The mocking shrieks of voices above.


ps3 accessories
12-04-2009 11:22 PM
Send the author an email Send the author a private message Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply

Post Reply  Post Thread 

View a Printable Version
Send this Thread to a Friend
Subscribe to this Thread | Add Thread to Favorites
Rate This Thread:

Forum Jump: