The Rules

[Whisper]

being excessively insulting or deliberately nasty over something someone has said

[Zenaida]

Here is my thought process for determiniing when I am about to respond to a post or something that as been said in channel:

Am I angry? If yes, I generally don't respond or I may say "I don't agree with you". That statement is very clear without being insulting. It is something that belongs to "I" not the other person. You aren't blaming them.

Am I about to say something that I WOULDN'T say to someone at a pen and pencil gaming session? That is, am I allowing myself to be an asshole because of the legendary Shield ov teh Internets? If yes, I tone it down. Saying "I don't agree" or actually making a constructive response is better.

How important is it? Really, when you get down to it, the majority of arguments and snide comments regarding skills, classes and playing ability are BS. Many of us play pve and that means we have the luxury of being tolerant and kind to each other because just about any build can work. Save your pontificating, finger waggling etc for pvp matches or DoA where it matters. If you are going into elona's reach normal mode with a barrage ranger...really who cares if barrage is not the best thing? Thing is..in the case of elona...the live barrage ranger still beats an AI ranger.

Still cannot hold it in? I will write myself an entry full of nasty diatribes and then delete it. I always feel better and in general later on I can see that the other person was just venting, is unsure of themselves etc. Remember, you cannot see facial expressions or body language on line. It is impossible to know really what is going on with other people. I have also gotten angry with people who speak english as a second language...I was mad for them being blunt with me...umm and they were sorry later and wanted to know how to express themselves better (and I felt like a bit of a heel, too). So really, do you KNOW who is on the AC? Really? Before you flame or insult, understand that the percieved insult may not be an insult at all.

And...by not being a flamer, you can pride yourself in being an adult.

[yoshiel]

haha zen, speaking of teh legendary shield ov teh interwebz

I was at a counter-strike lan tournament and this kid who's maybe 14 and super skinny calls someone the n-word in ingame chat. This HUGE bodybuilder guy gets up in the middle of the room and bellows out that he's going to kill who said it. So naturally, someone rats out the kid. The big guy goes up to him and lifts him off the ground by the scruff of the neck and screams in his face that he's going to snap him like a twig. The kid starts crying when the big guy sets him down and then he starts whimpering about how his dad's a lawyer and he's going to get him. Everyone was like: "yeah, go run to daddy." One of the funniest moments I've been witness to.

[mdkblackwolf]

I've never understood the whole stance of "I wish it wasn't necessary :/"... frankly, this is a game. Games are meant to be fun. In order for it to remain fun, rules must be created.

It's like playing a friendly game of pool, for example. You -still- need the rules. Why? Cause otherwise you'll randomly do whatever the hell you want and ruin the game. Enforcing said rules is another matter... the rules are there but you may let some slide, such as what to do when you sink the white ball, etc.

However, the only gripe I have is with the PG-13 on a-chat. Yes, we don't need to swear, but it's unreasonable to expect everyone in the alliance to do the parenting for the children who play the game, or for the parents whose kids happen to walk by and glance at the screen. The filter exists for a reason. I'm not saying remove this rule so I can go ballistic with the bad words, just pointing out the silliness of the situation: "Oh don't swear just in case the 12 year old happens to have his filter off and is then traumatized for life".

Hehe @ Zen... I personally don't believe in venting just cause you've had a bad day (remember, there's people on the other end of the venting too), but responding in kind generally does make the situation worse. If it's a general vent, no problem, but don't make it personal... you have a bad day and might attack people without the slightest provocation? Don't load GW.

Anyhoo, it's time I returned this soapbox back to the shop. :3

[Morrigan Alainn]

...However, the only gripe I have is with the PG-13 on a-chat. Yes, we don't need to swear, but it's unreasonable to expect everyone in the alliance to do the parenting for the children who play the game, or for the parents whose kids happen to walk by and glance at the screen. The filter exists for a reason. I'm not saying remove this rule so I can go ballistic with the bad words, just pointing out the silliness of the situation: "Oh don't swear just in case the 12 year old happens to have his filter off and is then traumatized for life".
...

There's a chat filter, true. Also, everyone by teenage years knows all the ''bad'' words anyway, and hardly that knowledge made anyone's life a nightmare. Still, there are parents who allow their kids to play, and if they wish to protect their kids from swearing on AC/GC, I think we can easily respect that. It is only a half measure anyway, because noone can control what his children will read on local chat in outposts or through whispers in game.
Also, I think, PG-13 is more about subjects of some conversation than swearing only. Swearing doesn't harm anyone by the age of 13, but there are some things that teenagers/kids maybe should not read in game, even if they do not use a single swear word.

[mdkblackwolf]

Still, there are parents who allow their kids to play, and if they wish to protect their kids from swearing on AC/GC, I think we can easily respect that.

Oh, I'm all for respecting it. I don't plan to go on there and curse non-stop. Ever.

My point is, why should it fall to me, and everyone else in particular, to do that parent's parenting for them? They have the kids who play the games, -they- need to use the filter. It's kinda like walking into a pub and saying "my kid's with me, can y'all stop with the foul language? Ta!".

Look at this whole discussion not as a "hey, remove your stupid rule", but as a warning to parents... last thing we need is an overzealous parent coming on and lobbying for a guild to be removed just cause one member said a bad word (not that I expect it to happen but still x_x).

[Zenaida]

I did belong to a guild where the leader DID expect us to babysit her dear lovely offspring (read: Ill behaved demon spawn with attention deficit disorder). I have never seen any expectation of that here. I think the general need is to keep chat civil, informative and kind. We have a pretty even distribution of male/female and all age groups out to at least 45. Different political views and lifestyles. So far double entendre seems well tolerated

The worst problem I personally have is spoilers. I'm very enthusiastic, if I do say something a little too far, just tell me to shut up. Luckily for everyone, I tend to lag behind my sister and others in the alliance, so chances are 80% of you will know about whatever I am on about already...

[Finn Ferral]

I hope I didn't spoil anyone's fun over the weekend, because I know I did occasionally squeal with excitement in AC over a few things I found.  In general though I thought the alliance was very helpful when responding to questions by others regarding the preview.

I would also like to add something to the rules.  Its not a rule per se, more of an observation that needs to be mentioned.  There has been what I perceive as a small amount of paranoia regarding response time to conversations in GC and AC.  It's mainly regarding saying 'hi' or sometimes just responding in general when addressed directly.

I have to admit at being one of the sort of people that does not multi-task very well.  When I see some people maintaining two or more threads of conversation (i.e. party chat and alliance chat simultaneously) whilst also fighting mobs at the same time, I am quite surprised at how well they do it.  I often have to get to a quiet spot before I enter anything more than a quick one or two word response.  In a similar way I tend to only post in one conversation at a time.  If I am involved in a busy conversation in party chat and there is activity on AC, I sometimes temporarily turn off the background chat by unticking the box.  I usually then turn it back on afterwards and check that I didn't miss anything I can help with.

I am also guilty of occasionally wandering away from the PC for quick moments when not in a mission, and I sometimes forget to set my status to Away.  So, again, if I do not respond quickly I may have wandered off briefly.

My point of all this is just to say that if I don't respond quickly or at all in a chat, it may simply be because I am busy or absent.  I do not want people to think I am purposefully ignoring them because I would never, ever do that.  Just because people's status show as Online, it does not necessarily mean they are immediately available to converse.

In situations where you really need to speak to someone, please use a polite PM saying 'I need to speak to you, are you busy at the moment?' type message.  And if you do not get a response, then assume that either they are too busy to respond immediately or they may have wandered away from the keyboard.

Thanks for reading.  I really don't want people to start second guessing their status in the guild based on what reaction you get from in game conversations.  I <3 all in this guild and alliance and treat everyone with an equal amount of respect, and I'm sure you guys do the same too.

[Zenaida]

Ah...Finn...the rule that says:

"The fact that a person does not immediately respond does not mean they hate you. It could mean that their baked beans are burning on the stove and they must fetch the fire extinguisher. It could mean they are healing a party in the Deep and have spoken to NO ONE for three hours. It could mean that they missed your whisper in amongst local chat in Lion's Arch. Taking it personally should be the last and not the first suspect!"

[Finn Ferral]

Precisely Zenny - spot on as usual.